‘Integrity is not something you show others. It is how you behave behind their back.’
Here’s a little story of one of my dating experiences… have a laugh!
I started seeing someone who didn’t live super close but not all that far. He was about 4 hours away. Not horrible. We talked all the time on the phone and saw each other when we could. Both single parents. Getting to know each other was a lot of fun.
Had a weekend together that was fun but a little weird. I felt ‘hidden’. Something seemed off but maybe he just wanted to stay in because we didn’t have a lot of time together and he just wanted to keep me to himself. Right? Wrong lol. Always trust your gut.
Halloween weekend was coming up and I was going to come visit him. He told me, the night before, that he was super sorry but a family member had gotten sick and was in the hospital and he had to drive to them, 6 hours away, and help the family. I completely understood!! In fact, I thought it was honorable that he would put himself aside to help out family. We agreed to postpone our plans til the next weekend.
Well, that weekend I was scrolling through Facebook and saw pictures of him and some girl at a Halloween party. Hmm…cousin perhaps? I went to his profile and his relationship status said ‘in a relationship’!! Wait, what?!
I called him and he didn’t answer. Of course. Coward. Well I finally got a call from him. He apologized a million times. His excuse was that, yes he was dating someone, and it started after we had been seeing each other. He said he needed to see the person he was with more than the occasional weekend. Ok. I get that. But why juggle two people?! Just tell me, right?
Well he thought he could have us both. Why do people think this way? In what world is that ok? It’s disrespectful. He said he really wanted to be with me and not her but he could see her more. Well, I bet that made her feel great! Second choice but eh, ok.
We talked every night up to that point. How?! Did she really not notice? He did everything right on the surface. You never know what a person is doing. You shouldn’t have to be on top of someone 24/7 in order for them to be faithful. It’s called integrity. Having morals and values. Why can’t people just be loyal even when it’s hard? I would never do that to a person.
I try to be a good friend. I try to be my best in a relationship. I spoil the person I’m with. I do everything I can to make the people who are important in my life know they are appreciated and that I’m there for them. Always. I will drop what I’m doing to help them. I’ve never had that returned but still I remain the person I am. I don’t want to be a doormat. I have faith that good people are out there. I won’t let these people break me.
Better to be honest and upfront than hurt someone who has done nothing but good for you and your life.