‘The worst distance between two people is misunderstanding’ …
Have you ever tried to tell someone something, how you feel or something that happened, and they misunderstand? There are lots of ways to misunderstand something. It can be the worst thing to happen between two people.
I had a few misunderstandings happen today. The first happened when I was trying to save someone from my moody bad mood, only to keep them from being moody too. It was taken as I was upset with them. So we talked. But only after the day had passed and it ruined their whole day.
The second misunderstanding was in that conversation. I told this person that ‘I didn’t want to go through what I went through before’ with them. I believe, from their response, that they think I meant the end phase of our relationship. The fighting and lying and frustrations. That was not what I meant.
I didn’t, and don’t, want to go through what followed our ending things. The being broken and crushed. The having to put myself back together even though it was only partly. I can take fights and frustration. As long as we communicate and fix things then and there. What I want to avoid is what happens when two people give up on each other. (Well, I never gave up but he did).
What happened was I was crushed. Ive been through breakups before. Bad ones. But they were survivable. My life wasn’t changed. But the last time, the last time was different. The connection we had was gone. The late night talks. Looking at each other and knowing the love is there. The future plans. The present plans. The learning about each other. Being next to each other and feeling safer than I’ve ever felt in my life.
I lost that and I don’t want to go through that again. But I couldn’t explain that. The misunderstanding had happened and they went on talking so I couldn’t explain. Going back to explain it would have seemed silly.
Then the conversation got cut short. I just want time to talk!! I have questions. I just want to sit and listen too. I don’t want to get off the phone because then they are gone again.
Have you ever felt sick to your stomach, feeling like you haven’t had the chance to say something important to you? Unfinished business? Maybe I’m overly sensitive. Maybe I have issues. Lol. Having a lot on your plate, as I do, makes you appreciate the moments with someone who matters so much more. I need more of those moments. I don’t want to be selfish. I had a family member once tell me that I should be selfish though. That I deserve to be when it comes to the person I love. I should make sacrifices and that it’s ok to let them do so as well.
I’ve never been good at that. Letting someone else do for me. I want it. I would love nothing more than for this person to drop everything and come to me. To build a life with me. But I will never ask that or expect it. They do that for others now and have in the past. They take pride in doing so. But they don’t for me and never have and so I will never ask for it. I want them to do for me because they want to, because they love me so much, and because I matter to them.
But back to misunderstandings. People can misunderstand and it will either make them think something good or something bad. Then in later conversation, you’ll mention something and you’re looking crazy because they have no idea what you’re talking about.
I think people need to slow down and really listen to the person they are talking to. People need to slow down and explain what they really mean. Communication is the key to any relationship. Work, family, friends, and intimate. I wish he understood me better. I wish I knew what to say to help that happen. I can’t push and I can’t back off.
What do you do when there is only one thing you want and you don’t know how to go about it?