A New Beginning

“Let us always meet each other with a smile, for the smile is the beginning of love” ~ Mother Teresa

 

Today is a new day! It is the beginning of the future. This past weekend was less than what I expected and wanted but I am putting it all behind me now and moving forward. I was going to post of what I went through last night but I will dwell on the past no more. I need to make a change in my life and that starts now. Today.

I will be a better version of myself for myself and those I love. I am looking for a new company to work with even though I am happy where I am enough to stay. I will work my hardest at work but would love a change of scenery. I out my all into my work and want to make things better.

I will focus on myself and the girls more. I worked so hard for a year and a half to be a better me and in 4 months time a lot of that work was undone. I refuse to allow that to happen again or to continue. I have so many wonderful qualities and from now on only those who see that will reap the benefits from it.

I have goals and dreams, some from since I can remember and some new ones. I have dreams for myself and for my girls. And I also have dreams for him but that will wait for now. I take on too much and I don’t know how to change that. I take on the problems of my friends and family and make them my own. I internalize feelings and I can’t get out of my head. I’ve tried not to but it’s who I am. I don’t want to change who I am but I need to stop taking on so much. I just don’t know how to stop this behavior. I enjoy taking care of others and being able to help them. I have a need to be needed but I have a need to fulfill those needs for them or I feel I am a failure. I know this needs to change, but again, it is who I am. It’s just how I am programmed.

I have too many people in my life who either drain the positivity and happiness out of me or who make situations seems worse than they are. I have people who are co-dependent and if things are going well they will make an issue out of nothing and if I don’t agree they won’t stop until I do. I know things aren’t as they make it out to be, but after hearing them say it over and over it is st least now repeating in my head. So even if I know things are fine, they aren’t really. I am done with people like this. The only hard thing for now is that I live with one of these people. I need to move forward while not being able to.

But today is a new day. I am making it the beginning of my future and if I want certain things I need to make certain adjustments. I am more than willing and ready for the work. I am ready for happiness and love to be in my life. Come find me!! I will find you…

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